Monthly Archives: September 2014

Beginnings, Differences, Food, Life, Pesonalities

A Study in Contrasts

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Have you ever observed how a person eats halo-halo? And wondered what it tells you about him or her?

10686909_10203763776269172_733057220526937296_nConsider the halo-halo on the left. Notice how all the ingredients have been methodically mixed before being eaten.  Is this a person who goes with the flow, a relaxed individual with a simple view in life who takes things at face value and does not read more into them, someone who has integrated all the different aspects of life into one and come up with something even brighter and better?  Someone at peace with himself or herself?   Or is this a risk-taker, unafraid to try new things, an adventurous soul interested to see what may come, intent on trying out new adventures?

After all, a halo-halo is just that: a mixture of different fruits and vegetables with shaved ice, milk and ice-cream, which when combined gives a totally new taste and look.  Taken individually, each ingredient has its own qualities, but taken together, they bring a new meaning to desserts.  Sometimes, the result may not be as appetizing as each of the individual elements.  But sometimes too the resulting meld is fantastically delicious.

Now, look at the halo-halo on the right.  Here is a halo-halo with all the ingredients kept carefully separate, just as it was served, and enjoyed piece by piece.  Is this someone who keeps a tight rein on emotions, keeps areas of life distinct from each other so that each may shine brightly and not lose their individuality, much like first enjoying the nutty taste of beans, savoring the thick heavenly ube jam, then letting the sweet, creamy leche flan dissolve in the mouth instead of having one amalgamated fusion?  Is it a person with many interests, loathe to give up one for the other,  balancing each one precariously like the ube ice-cream on the mountain of shaved ice?

What an interesting notion it is when two such individuals meet.  Halo-halo, anyone?

Food, Friendship, Women

Embracing Raclette, Sushi and Pasta

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IMG_3728 smallOh no! What have I gotten myself into?  I just signed up for a new pasta challenge on September 27 at Palms Country Club, this time with Mongsie Wulff as my partner.  For someone afflicted with the Asian flush (yes, I turn beet red with a sip or two of anything alcoholic), I keep forgetting not to commit to anything after a glass of wine.  But what the heck, I thought, I do know how to make pasta, so I would not horribly embarrass myself.  And, with friendly competition from Gabriella and Angie, as well as Marie and Mae, it should be loads of fun.  Here’s what happened…

IMG_3734 smallWednesday night, Angie Laborte who sits on the Palms Country Club Socials and Dining Committee Meeting, invited me, along with our other friends Mongsie Wulff and Miri Medalla to join their first Committee Meeting for 2014-2015 that night.  Miri couldn’t make it as she was overseas.  (For a quick intro on my friends, check out an earlier blog entry: https://monettehamlin.com/2014/07/13/the-wine-lovers-club-how-friendship-began/).

Mongsie and I have longed to attend the exclusive committee mainly because of the good repast the Chef Hans would lay out, but this was reserved only for their members.  The common denominator was that our husbands had all served as chairmen of the committee: Hans Wulff, Mike Hamlin, and Sam Medalla. This was a bittersweet evening, as each bite I took reminded me of Mike.

Chef Hans warmly welcomed us to the committee meeting.  I was happy to see Gabriella Wegfahrt and Marie Segura who had arrived earlier.  We were later joined by Dr. Mae Corvera, and a gentleman doctor from Asian Hospital, who stayed just a while.  It was definitely a woman dominated evening.

IMG_3711 smallThat night, we sampled Palm’s private raclette dinner. Raclette is a semi-hard cheese made using ancestral methods with unpasteurized milk of cows grazing on the alpine meadows on both sides of the French and Swiss Alps.  It gets its name from the French word ‘racler’, which means ‘to scrape’.

I first encountered raclette when I visited my childhood friend Lourdes Malto-Montenejo and her husband Bobby in Switzerland. A young couple then with their first child, Dodit and Bobby served this Swiss dish for my first dinner.  The cheese, distinctively aromatic and slightly nutty, was melted on a raclette grill and then scraped on our plates once creamy and soft.  We ate it with pickled onions, sausages, small potatoes, and gherkins.  Oh, how I loved it!  And how glad I was that Palms has decided to offer this for private dinners.

IMG_3720 smallWhile partaking of the sumptuous spread which included Palm’s new Japanese sushi offerings and wines, we reviewed the club’s socials and dining performance, brainstormed how to invigorate the club’s activities and promote them better, and discussed socials and dining plans for the coming months, as well as, Palm’s 12th anniversary.

Leading up to the anniversary, plans are afoot for a Pasta Cooking Challenge on September 27, a Kampay sa Tagumpay on October 11 with a live band and beers (Palm’s version of Oktoberfest), a late night party on October 18 at the Poolbar with a stand-up comedian, and a grand celebration on November 7 featuring the 70’s Superband, with proceeds going to Project Pink’s Stage Zero.

IMG_3739_smallIt was a wonderful evening spent with friends over good food and wine.  We all readily accepted the invitation to be part of the committee, had a good laugh over signing up for the Pasta Challenge, and reserved seats for the anniversary celebration.

And now, Mongsie and I must start practicing for the challenge. Mama mia!

Death, Discipline, Faith, Family, Goodbyes, Life, Love

Helping families cope with final transitions

The days seem to whiz by so fast these past two weeks, leaving precious little time for writing. Each night, I look forward to writing my blog, but work and family concerns are jealous lovers and take over my free time.

The truth is I need to be more disciplined when it comes to writing.  For 20 years, I’ve watched Mike sit down weekly, and sometimes, daily, to think, to do research, and then type out his articles for various columns, newspapers, and even, books.  Each time he would ask me to copy edit his work, and each time I did, I would fall in love with him all over again, captivated by how intelligent and insightful he was, and how words just seemed to flow naturally.  I pray that I be more like him when it comes to discipline, and so after sloughing off for two weeks, I was finally jarred into writing again.  Something happened the other day that brought back vivid memories of Mike.

Good friends Angie Laborte and Dr. Mae Corvera wanted to meet me at Palms to discuss a conference they were organizing and to pick my brains on how to market it. Angie is one of the founders of Project Pink, a support group for cancer patients and their families.  Mae is sub-section head for Family Medicine & Palliative Medicine at Asian Hospital and board chairman of The Ruth Foundation for Palliative and Hospice Care.  Mae was a bastion of strength for our family during Mike’s last few weeks.  When Mike learned he had cancer, he made me promise not to let him die in the hospital.  I told him then that he would die in my arms. With Mae’s help in palliative and hospice care, I was able to make good on my promise.

That last morning before Mike slipped into a semi-coma is seared into my memory like a burn that never heals.  It was a bright early Saturday morning, and Mike had refused to eat anything since the day before, even ice-cream.  Frail and spent, he was listless and didn’t seem to recognize me.  I was beside myself with worry, and called Mae frantically.  She came quickly with her team, examined Mike, and recommended we bring him to the hospital right away for emergency intervention.  We had been in and out of hospitals in the past two weeks, and I felt like screaming and pounding heaven’s doors for some respite.  Nevertheless, we called for an ambulance.

Is it time, I asked Mae in anguish?  Mae gently told me only God will determine the time, but that it would be good for the children to say goodbye.   She advised me to call my children and ask them to come right away.

We helped Mike into his wheelchair, and brought him to the balcony outside our room.  Niccolo sat close beside him, held his hand, and with heads bowed, father and son talked.  It was heartbreaking to watch, and I turned my back to call Bea first in Boston where she was finishing up her masters, and then Cara in Boracay.  After visiting Mike for a few days, Cara had just returned to Shangri-la Boracay where she worked as a chef, and I knew she had used up all her leaves already.  I called Cara, and she said she would buy a ticket right away.

The ambulance attendants arrived to take Mike, but Niccolo refused to let them take him.  He asked for more time to be with his dad.  I remember weeping silently as I watched them, and then Mae embracing me and telling me it was time to go.  It was then I told her of my promise not to let Mike die in the hospital.  Mae understood, and said Mike just needed some tests done so they would know what next steps to take, and that we could bring him home right after if that was what I wanted to do.   Mike died the next Saturday, not in the hospital, but at home, in my arms, just as I had promised him.

IMG_3832October is Breast Cancer Month, and each year, The Ruth Foundation for Palliative and Hospice Care organizes a conference to promote palliative and hospice care in the Philippines.  On October 14-18, The Ruth Foundation, together with the Department of Occupational and Family Medicine of the Asian Hospital and Medical Center and the Philippine Society of Hospice and Palliative Medicine, will organize Leadership for H.O.P.E. 2014, a five-day conference consisting of an opening and a closing plenary, sandwiching several workshops.  Previous H.O.P.E. conferences were small, but this time, they had invited expert conference faculty from the United States, New Zealand and Asia Pacific.

Still wearing pink ribbons on their bodice from the press conference they attended earlier, Angie and Mae were excited to tell me that Filinvest City had decided to support their conference, and was lending use of the Filinvest Tent for the opening plenary on October 14 and the first two workshops on October 15.  With a bigger venue, the challenge was getting the word out so that more physicians, nurses and health care professionals, as well as, support group leaders, organizers and volunteers would attend and learn from the international conference faculty.

The first workshop, “Hospice & Palliative Care Management,” seeks to help clinical and administrative leaders in program formation, maintenance and management.  The second workshop, “Owning Stage Zero,” will empower support group leaders, organizers and volunteers in providing psychosocial care and support group facilitation in such areas as empathy and compassion; trauma, grief and bereavement; active listening skills; facilitation of support groups and family meetings; and self-care and resilience.

Targeting ministry and volunteer leaders, the third workshop, “Practical Compassion Through Loving Individuals in Final Transition (L.I.F.T.) on October 16-17 will instruct them on how to teach others to provide basic care-giving, to meet spiritual needs, to listen and communicate, to accept crisis and suffering, and to handle aging, stress, dementia and the intricacies of death and dying.

Concurrently, End-of-Life Nursing Education Consortium (ELNEC), together with the American Association of Colleges of Nursing (AACN) and the City of Hope in Los Angeles, California, will conduct a two-day certificate course to teach nurses professional approaches to improve care and quality of life for end-of-life patients.

Finally, the workshop, “Empowering by Example” will have care leaders share their experiences and best practices for palliative and hospice care of cancer patients.

Having been on the receiving end of Mae’s and The Ruth Foundation’s kindness and generosity during the darkest times of my life, I readily agreed to help spread the word.   We need more health care professionals and volunteers trained in the intricacies of palliative and hospice care to extend a helping hand when rough times come and turn our lives upside down.   It’s not just the person who is dying who needs love, sensitivity and compassion, but the people they leave behind who are broken and need angels to help get them through.  I will forever be grateful to Mae and her team for being there when I most needed them.

P.S. To learn more about the conference, contact The Ruth Foundation at [email protected], 8086079, 0906 314 1421 or 0908 814 4799.  And please, may I ask you to help spread the word, so that there be more angels like Dr. Mae Corvera and The Ruth Foundation to help families cope with final transitions?

 

 

 

competence, Confidence, Friendship, Uncategorized, Women, Work

Women Stepping Up

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Are women naturally competitive? Is it true they cannot stand having another woman shine brighter than they do?  Is jealousy natural?  Does crab mentality apply to the supposedly gentler sex?  Or is it possible for women to help other women, and feel good about it?  These were questions going through my mind last week as I attended two women’s events: WomenBiz Talks organized by the Women’s Business Council Philippines, and two days later, Women’s Talk Network Night organized by the Business and Professional Women (BPW) Makati.

Thursday night, I attended the Women’s Talk Network Night at the Society Lounge upon the invitation of my friend, Jeannie Javelosa. Although I’ve known of Jeannie for many years as being creative partner of PR competitor, EON, and a co-founder of ECHO Store and ECHOsi Foundation along with another good friend, Chit Juan, it was not until Jeannie and I were speakers last November at the UN Women’s Conference in Barcelona that I really got to talk to her.  We had a wonderful time exploring this beautiful city together (See my blog post on that memorable trip with Jeannie).

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Arriving at the venue already teeming with women and buzzing with their chatter, I was happy to see Ambassador Delia Albert seated with Marivic Anonuevo, and promptly joined them. I had the good fortune of meeting Manang Delia as she is fondly called by her mentees during the APEC Women and the Economy Summit in Bali last year, and got to know her better during the Sababay Winery tour of the Gozali family, and the gala dinner.

IMG_3029Manang Delia is chair of BPW Makati and head of the APEC WEF Private Sector Steering Committee.  A real trooper, Manang Delia went up to the stage during the gala dinner to sing Dahil sa Iyo with the guest performer, effectively breaking the ice and starting a rousing competition for the best love song among the different nationalities present. Despite her diminutive exterior, Manang Delia cuts an impressive figure and commands attention and respect because of her intelligence, her wit, her strength of character, and deep passion for helping her kababayans, especially Filipinas. I remember her saying it was important to bring together all the accomplished business and professional Filipinas to help in the hosting of the APEC Women and the Economy Forum in 2015. This way, we can change the perception of foreigners that we are a nation of OFWs and househelp, she said.  And that was exactly what she was doing Thursday night, urging the accomplished guests attending the cocktails to step up for the APEC WEF meeting.

IMG_3030After Manang Delia’s appeal, it was Jeannie’s turn to introduce BPW Makati to the guests.  Jeannie is founding president of BPW Makati, a local chapter of the Business and Professional Women (BPW) Foundation in the Philippines that espouses the Women’s Empowerment Principles of the U.N. Aptly called Equality Means Business, the Principles emphasize the business case for corporate action to promote gender equality and women’s empowerment. While BPW has monthly networking opportunities to enjoy, Jeannie cautioned that membership in BPW Makati is open only to those interested to work towards putting the principles to work.  No place for fluff here.

The seven principles include (1) establishing high-level corporate leadership and gender equality; (2) treating all women and men fairly at work, respecting and supporting human rights and nondiscrimination; (3) ensuring the health, safety and well-being of all women and men workers; (4) promoting education, training and professional development for women; (5) implementing enterprise development, supply chain and marketing practices that empower women; (6) promoting equality through community initiatives and advocacy; and (7) measuring and publicly reporting on progress to achieve gender equality.  In short, BPW Makati empowers women to help other women succeed and achieve their potential.

IMG_3040IMG_3039Next up, Chit Juan, BPW Makati External VP and former president of the League of Corporate Foundations, together with Luvy Villanueva, director of the Philippine Commission on Women, spoke about their GREAT Women Platform, short for Gender Responsive Economic Actions for the Transformation of Women. By helping small and medium women-run businesses package their products attractively, take advantage of the supply chain, and promote and market them effectively, women entrepreneurs get a better chance at succeeding in business.

For instance, who would have thought that the lowly suka (vinegar) can be packaged into coveted artisanal fare and exported overseas? Or that bottled taba ng talangka (crab fat) is now gourmet fare? And did we know that we can make use of the 5% mandated Gender and Development (GAD) budget of the government when selling our products and services?  We learned about best practices for promoting gender equality, from PLDT’s SME ICT platform on the cloud, to Coke’s 5M by 2020 micro-entrepreneur drive, to RCBC’s EWMN financial literacy program that expands women’s potential through SME loans and start-up capital, and to Cherie Blair Foundation’s 6-month online mentoring program for women in business.

IMG_3047Interestingly enough, there was a lone male speaker that night.  Brave man, I thought, to be the only thorn among the roses, until I found out that he was accompanied by his wife.  Intellectual Property Office Director Ric Blancaflor spoke about the male perspective. A firm believer in women’s strengths, he shared that half of his board is composed of women, and 65% of IPO examiners are women. He cited the Filipina qualities he most admires: dedication to duty, bravery and competence and encouraged the women in the room to safeguard their brands by filing for intellectual property rights.

IMG_3053Looking around Society Lounge that night, I saw many powerful women who feel secure about themselves: Manang Delia, Marife Zamora, Chit Juan, Jeannie Javelosa, Karmi Palafox, Mylene Abiva, Emmeline Versoza, Luvy Villanueva, Rambie Lim, to name a few.  Great company indeed.

So, this is a call out to women in business and professions to step up.  Join BPW Makati and let’s share our blessings to help other women succeed.  High time we put girl power to work, right, ladies?