Category Archives: Uncategorized

Inclusive Leadership: Are we doing enough?

What is Inclusive Leadership, and are we doing enough to make it happen?

This was the topic for the second session of the six-part Womenar Learning Series being organized by the Women’s Business Council Philippines (WomenBizPH), supported by UN Women, WE Empower Asia, Philippine Commission on Women, and the Department of Trade and Industry.  Entitled “I am WOMAN. I am a LEADER,” the Womenar (yes, it’s a play in words of women and webinar) featured woman leader Rosario Cajucom-Bradbury who shared her journey on Inclusion as it applied to her career, her family, and her adopted home, the United States.  As chairwoman of WomenBizPH, I moderated the Womenar.

Cajucks, as her friends call her, began by saying Integrity is the backbone of her personal and professional philosophy, and that she stayed with SGS for 30 years because its corporate values matched hers.  Starting as a telephone operator in 1986 in SGS, Cajucks rose up to become CEO and Managing Director in the Philippines and Guam in 2006, gaining valuable experience in the commercial business and operations of International Trade in Testing, Inspection and Certification (TIC) Industry for trade compliance.

It was at SGS that Cajucks was first exposed to diversity and inclusion, working with different nationalities and traveling to different countries. She learned the importance of understanding different cultures and traditions in dealing with colleagues and clients.  It was here too that she observed and responded to the needs of a diverse team.  Realizing that mothers needed to express their breastmilk while at work, Cajucks set up a lactation room long before this was required by the Magna Carta for Women.  Called the Working Mothers Room, the name was changed to Working Parents Room when fathers in the company said they too stayed up nights to take care of their babies.  This also served as a Day Care Room for children of SGS employees who needed to work but could not leave their children alone at home.

Cajucks is proud that her company values competencies, skills, and attitudes, and provides equal opportunities for employees to learn and excel, whatever spectrum of gender they adhere to, or whatever disability they may have.  And while change management may not come by easily, she urges people to embrace diversity and inclusion by coupling curiosity with empathy, welcoming connections and respecting and honoring people’s differences.

As the mother of an LGBTQ, Cajucks feels very protective of her child. Like any mother, she worries about her child’s future, hoping for a safer, kinder world.  Now that she has moved to the United States, she wonders too about her family’s safety as aliens at a time of heightened emotions because of the George Floyd incident and the resultant Black Lives Matter movement. And she asks herself if she is doing enough to be inclusive. 

The Womenar also featured three women leaders who shared their experiences on Inclusive Leadership.

Tonichi Achurra-Parekh, a trustee of the Contact Center Association of the Philippines advocated for more women to sit on the board, to give voice and representation to women who make up half of the over 1M industry workers.  Tonichi shared three principles she lives by.  First, be fair and act on facts rather than opinions, as this removes all biases. Second, be intentional and act on what is truly meaningful to you. And lastly, be trustworthy, say what you mean and do what you say.

Maricelle Narciso, former general manager of Pepsico Philippines, wanted to prove that a Filipina GM could make a difference and shared three things that helped her.  First, she had strong role models, beginning with her mother who told her she can achieve anything if she was not afraid of hard work.  At work, she credited her mentors Sri Urip of Unilever and Indra Nooyi, Pepsico’s Global CEO, who trailblazed Diversity and Inclusion and imposed business targets to track and promote women to become senior leaders.  After all, what doesn’t get measured, doesn’t get done.  Second, Maricelle noted the importance of developing a diverse and inclusive team working in a culture of care, trust, transparency and commitment to do what’s right. Finally, she led her team with a woman’s touch, calling this Gender Judo, balancing toughness with tender compassion, very much like a Mama Bear.

Dr. Mildred Vitangcol, chairman of St. Peter Life Plans, said being a woman is a privilege of birth, and a personal choice to make a significant difference in this world.  Empowerment  begins at childhood with having strong role models and a nurturing family.  Regardless of position, socio-economic status, race, ethnicity or age, women can excel by developing life skills and inner confidence, continually learning, and bringing integrity, compassion, balanced perspective, and competencies to the workplace.  She challenges women to rise above adversity, place God at the core of their being, and become the best version of themselves.

Summing up the conversation, Mylene Abiva, president of WomenBizPH, said women empowerment goes hand in hand with inclusive leadership. The goal of inclusive leadership is to create a work environment that makes people aspire to be better, to feel better and do better, and to foster a culture that focuses on motivation and morale and values teamwork, shared vision and goals.

The question remains: Are we doing enough to make this happen?

Jobs and Women in Philippine Tourism Forum

At the Jobs and Women in Philippine Tourism Forum organized by the Department of Tourism on April 30, 2019, we tackled various concerns of women in tourism, current trends in gender equality and women empowerment, as well as job opportunities in different sectors like farm tourism, travel and tours, and M.I.C.E. (Meetings, Incentives, Conventions and Exhibitions/Events).

A staunch supporter of women empowerment and herself a role model of women leadership, DOT Secretary Bernadette Romulo-Puyat officially opened the forum.  She shared her experiences as DOT Secretary and previously Undersecretary for the Department of Agriculture, where she met women from all walks of life as she traveled all over the Philippines, and how they warmed up to her once she talked about being a widow at a young age and having to take care of two children. Indeed, stripped of job titles, we are all women at heart, bound by a common desire to take care of our loved ones, and make a better life for them.

Atty. Edwin R. Enrile, Chairperson, Gender and Development Focal Point System (GFPS), Department of Tourism discussed Trends in Gender Equality in the tourism industry.  It was interesting that the only male speaker in the morning heads Gender and Development at DOT.

Ms. Sandra Sanchez Montano, Board of Commissioner, Philippine Commission on Women, shared her passion about helping women succeed, and ensuring their health and safety, especially after her near death experience during an earthquake. I was happy to meet a fellow ASEAN Awardee, one who broke the barriers in a male-dominated field, driving ambulances and leading search and rescue missions during calamities.

Ms. Grace Baldoza, Deputy Program Manager, Bureau of Local Employment, DOLE shared statistics on In-Demand Jobs for Filipino Women.  It was alarming that women workers in agriculture were declining, while women workers in other industries were on the rise.

Inspiring women to go beyond traditional careers and go where men only dared, Chezka Raumae Gonzales-Garrido relates how she, as a flight stewardess, decided to learn how to fly a commercial plane. Chezka is now a First Officer at Air Asia.  She makes it her mission to continually inspire women to become achievers.

I spoke on MICE as a new product of DOT,  and the job prospects open to women in MICE, from organizing business events as project managers to owning their own event management companies.  Women dominate the Business Meetings industry in the Philippines, as can be seen from membership in the Philippine Association of Convention and Exhibition Organizers and Suppliers, Inc. (PACEOS). My own  company, TeamAsia is women-owned and women-led, with 7 of 8 management committee members being women. Majority of our workforce are women as they exhibit the qualities needed for project management: excellent communication and people skills; ability to multitask, plan strategy and lead a team; creativity in designing and marketing events; being detail oriented; and managing and controlling a budget.

Likewise, Josie Costales of Costales Nature Farms spoke of the joys and benefits of working on agri-tourism.  What started as a weekend retreat transformed into a thriving business, as she and her workers provided farm-life experiences to city guests.

Gina Romero of Connected Women shared how women need not be tied to a fixed schedule and be penned in a fixed work environment as they can do digital work from the comfort of their home. Proof that Connected Women is a vibrant network was palpable when a big group of participants suddenly asked to have a photo with Gina onstage.

Aileen Clemente, CEO of Rajah Tours, moderated the morning panel, which dealt with issues such as how technology is affecting or better yet enabling women in tourism.  As Sharon ably put it, we women should support each other and practice ABC: 1) audit ourselves to know our strengths and weaknesses, 2) build our network, and 3) collaborate with other women.

The Department of Tourism envisions to empower women by creating more job opportunities, and to make the tourism industry a gender-responsive, community-and women-empowered. DOT is definitely on its way to achieve its objectives.

The afternoon featured a talk by Diane Zoleta, CEO of Yapak.ph, who shared success stories of Filipinas who served as tourism drivers fir their community, such as Apo Whang Od, the oldest mambabatok of the Butbut tribe whose fame as a tattoo master draws enthusiasts to her village for a chance to be tattoed, willingly trekking for miles. A woman vendor in Marikina, famed for her street food, draws foodies to her community to try her smokey delicacies. Another woman dared get into lantern making in Pampanga, a male-dominated industry, and her fame has attracted followers wanting to own one of her lanterns. As an aggregator of tourism drivers, Yapak.ph opens opportunities to women in Philippine tourism to show what they are capable of, helping make their communities thrive.

Mylene Abiva, CEO of Abiva, international ambassador for Robotics, and a fellow trustee of the Women’s Business Council Philippines, talked about iMakeHistory, an installation of various Philippines tourist sites built entirely out of Lego pieces, which can be found in intramuros. Mylene a staunch supporter of women in STEM, or Science, Technology, Engineering and Math, encouraged the participants to make use of their skills and technology to further tourism in the country.

I served as moderator for the afternoon open forum, tackling issues like work-life balance for women, sponsors who gave them a leg up in their career, overcoming odds and succeeding, and finding their passion in life.  Mylene and Diane gamely answered the questions of the participants, and shared their thoughts on how we can all be tourism drivers.

The forum ended with closing remarks by DOT Undersecretary Bong Benzon, who reiterated DOT’s thrust to further improve opportunities for women in Philippine tourism.  Truly, this was a forum that mattered, not just in highlighting women empowerment in tourism, but in connecting like minded women in their quest to succeed.

Revisiting Balesin 2018

May 23, 2018. Andre and I went to Balesin for a quick trip, together with friends Poch and Pam Zamora and their children, Katrina and Javier, and Leo and Michelline Suarez with their youngest son, Vito. It was our second visit, and we really wanted to try out the Italian Village, Toscana. Fortunately, Poch was able to change our reservation from the Philippine Village, Balesin to Toscana, and we were overjoyed. More so, when we found out that the room we got, Tavernelle, was the one I had painted the first time we were in Balesin.

With a wraparound balcony, Tavernelle is a spacious suite at the very end of Toscana, with one side facing the sea and the other the pool. It was truly a dream come true! From the wood-timbered rafters, white washed walls, red brick-lined arched windows and doors, cool tiled floors, dark wooden furniture, wrought iron detail, and comfortable armchairs and bed, Tavernelle is a destination in itself, reminding me of our visit to Tuscany, Italy. Its fiercely cold air-conditioning was an added bonus, given the heat outside.

After a delightful and filling lunch at Toscana, our group went separate ways to swim and laze in different villages. Andre rented a golf cart to ferry us around the island, and I gladly served as chauffeur. We visited the different villages, getting as far as the French St. Tropez and the Greek Mykonos Village. That night, we were so tired we decided to just stay in Toscana and have a light dinner of soup.

Breakfast the next day was at Sala, the Filipino-themed restaurant at Balesin Village. We were just about to go swimming when we received a call from reception that we needed to transfer to a beachfront villa in Balesin because they were going to close Toscana. Apparently, if they do not have at least seven rooms occupied in a village, they close it down. Everyone else staying at Toscana had checked out that morning, so we hurried back to pack our bags and move to Balesin.

Settled in Balesin, we joined the group for a late Thai lunch at Phuket Village. It was delicious but not as fiery as we would have wanted it to be. Poch prepared his own chili concoction that brought out the flavors of the curries to perfection and had us sniffling throughout the meal.

After this, Andre and I decided to laze in the Phuket pool, before transferring to Balesin where we took a dip in the beach. Unlike the rocky beach at Phuket, the sand at Balesin was very fine, almost Boracay-like, and the water absolutely clear and warm. I was delighted that Andre joined me as he normally stays away from the beach because of insect bites.

Dinner that night was at Han Gang, the Korean restaurant, where we sampled a variety of Korean appetizers (the kimchi was delicious!) and the meat was grilled in front of us, creating a smoky ambiance. As usual, conversation was interesting, revolving this time around the pluses and minuses of traveling as a group, river vs ocean cruises and gastronomic experiences. We agreed to travel as a group again.

Soon enough our trip to Balesin was over. On the way home, Andre and I were discussing which village we would like to sample next. We both agreed: Mykonos. Oompah!

Club Paradise 2010

April 3, 2010.  It’s our 10th year of coming to Club Paradise as a family. Also, our first to come during the Easter Triduum. Despite guilt feelings of not being in church, we decided to come here to celebrate our oneness as a family before the girls go off to distant lands.

As usual, family bonding is a time for ribbing and re-living memories. The first year we came, Niccolo was afraid of the water so we built sand castles with plastic shovels and pails while Mike and the older children learned how to dive. Niccolo baked cookies with the chef as a special treat. On the last morning, I finally coaxed him into the water, and he was amazed at the fish swimming close to the shore. Then he cried when we had to get out of the water. He’s loved to swim ever since.

Cara, our camera buff

Bea would always bring a book and read by the water. So, would Mike. I would bring my paints and try to capture some of the beauty around me on paper. Cara, our resident camera buff, resorted to photography instead. Bea and Mike are both avid photographers, as well.

The view from Eagle’s Point

We always hike up the mountain trail to get to Eagles’ Point where you have a 360 degree view of the surroundings. Cara got so dizzy one time we hiked after breakfast that she “baptized” the tree house with her morning meal halfway up the mountain.

Praying the Stations of the Cross

Yesterday at 3pm, Mike, Bea and I went up the mountain to do the Way of the Cross. Under the smoldering sun, we hiked up and prayed 14 stations until we reached the summit.

We made it to the summit!

Understandably, we were so tired and drenched with perspiration when we reached the top, we could hardly talk to each other.  We had forgotten to bring water, and we were thoroughly parched. After a few minutes, we heard the sound of people coming up and saw some maintenance men huffing and puffing while carrying a big chest full of ice-cold water.  What a treat it was! Truly the Lord is good, we all exclaimed! But then, we discovered that there were no cups to use, so we resorted to using our bare hands.

The Komodo dragon

On the way down, we came upon a huge creature (bayawak? Komodo dragon? Lizard? It was at least 70 lbs.) right smack in the middle of the trail. We were about to shoot some photos, when another party coming up the trail surprised the creature and caused it to charge up towards us. We quickly scrambled to safety for dear life, hoping it would not snap at us with its scary looking teeth and strong jaws.

As we went back to our cottage last night, we came upon a deer feeding. Mike cautioned me not to take a snapshot, but to let it eat in peace. And that’s really what Club Paradise offers: peace.

When we would first come here, there were no cell sites. The older children suffered severe withdrawal pains when their mobile phones went dead and they were incommunicado with the outside world and their friends. It was a good time to bond as a family. Now, with better connections, we can use our laptops and mobile devices to stay in touch.

The view from our porch

I learned to snorkel (and to enjoy it) with Mike holding my hand. Yes, I am afraid of the expanse of deep, dark, cold waters, but with Mike I discovered the beauty that lay just beneath. The vivid colors of sea life teeming underneath the waves spurred my imagination. I wish I could find the colors to capture their beauty when I paint.

Once, when Mike and I were snorkeling, we saw two huge fish swim by (they were almost as big as I was). We followed their lazy meandering for about an hour. It was such a sublime experience.

Now that Mike is not allowed to get his eye wet while waiting for the cornea transplant, I had to go swimming with the children without him. He’s off working on his laptop in the club house. It was so funny when Niccolo scolded me and told me to stay with them instead of going off on my own, when he held my hand to make sure I was safe, when the girls all insisted that I put on a life jacket before I went snorkeling (you’re not a strong swimmer, mom, better to be safe). The tables have been turned. I was the one to be looked after now.

Right now, Bea and Cara are sunning themselves, while Niccolo is out snorkeling. And here I am, beside my beloved Mike, as we both work on our computers.

Surprising Matinloc

What a pleasant surprise Matinloc Resort in Palawan turned out to be! Reading Trip Advisor reports before the trip, Andre and I were alarmed at all the negative comments guests had about food. So much so that we loaded up on goodies just in case we got disappointed. Upon arriving at the airport, Beth, the resort coordinator, was already aware of our apprehension on the quality of the food. She informed us that their kitchen staff knew of our apprehension.

Arriving at the resort way past lunch, Chef Mel himself came up and introduced himself saying he had brief stints at several restaurants in Boracay, including making gelato at the famous Aria. After which he said he would prepare an off-the-menu lunch for us. And it was good! He whipped up a chicken calzone oozing with mushrooms, cheese and black olives.

The next day, Chef Mel prepared another customized meal of fresh squid stuffed with mushroom, zucchini, and cheese served with mashed sweet potato, grilled corn, eggplant, broccoli and honey amaretto reduction. Adding cheese to the stuffing was Andre’s idea.

Breakfast buffet was simple but good. What stood out to our amazement was discovering genuine buttery flaky croissants on the island which we enjoyed with blueberry, raspberry, and orange marmalade, alongside freshly brewed cappuccino.

Chef Mel was gone on our third day, but Chef Sherwin took over preparing our late lunch on our third day. He prepared a dish of three prawns on an omelette bed sprinkled with black sesame seeds, a trio of crunchy vegetable tempura wrapped in nori, steamed vegetables, with a choice of Japanese curry or soy sauce dip. It was as delicious as it was pretty to look at.

Matinloc boasts of powdery white sand on a short beach cradled by limestone cliffs. At one end of the beach was a tall round wooden cabaña with thatched roofing, while the other end had a long cement pier jutting out to the water where boats docked for arriving and departing guests. Lounging chairs with baby blue umbrellas line half the beach, while an infinity pool invites guests to come in for a cooling swim.

While relaxing on the lounge chair, I was so inspired by the view of sea, sky, sand and rock, that I took out my paints and brushes and started to paint. Andre asked me how the lone yucca tree on top of the rock formation got there. A bird, I guess.

Time passed quickly, and I did not notice that my right side was under the sun all the time I was painting, hence, my half a tan! The next day, we made sure we sprayed on suntan protection. It was so potent that I now have white zebra stripes on my arms, while the rest of me is tanned. Hilarious!

Fronting the beach was the sole circular restaurant outlet where meals were served. Its tall open windows allowed guests to enjoy nature’s beauty: the sparkling blue water, the clear blue sky, the pristine sand and the far off islands in the horizon, not to mention the fresh sea breeze and the sound of waves gently hitting the shore. A wooden deck surrounded the restaurant with outdoor plastic wicker chairs and tables under coconut trees.

Large deluxe cabins faced the beach. From the beach, one could see cabins perched high on the hillside with a fantastic view of the sea. Wooden steps led up to these cabins, some requiring more than 200 steps. The builders ensured the cabins were nature-friendly, as many of them were wrapped around tree trunks. Why, there was even a tree house by the garden. At the back of our building, they were building a funicular to bring guests up to the highest cabins. We could just imagine how difficult it would be to go up and down those steps.

Our room, thankfully, was on the first floor of a three story building facing the garden. It was roomy, high-ceilinged with wide wooden planks as flooring, and a separate changing room. A canopied king-sized bed decked with thin billowy netting lent a romantic air to the room. Airconditioning was faultless, amenities first class, and the bed super comfy.

If there is anything they need to improve on is their weak and spotty wifi, as this was possible only by the front desk or at the pier. There was no signal in the room or at the beach.

The staff were very friendly, and the service was warm and consistent. Special mention to K-Zy, Jay-ar and Hannah of Reservations and Front Desk, Beth who met us at the airport, Nelyn and Weng of F&B, and Jocer of Marine Sports.

It was truly a most enjoyable respite, and one we would love to go back to. Next time, we may even opt for the highest cabin with its spectacular view, that is, if the funicular is already working.

Dreams do come true!

May 3, 2017. This trip to Italy has been an amazing spiritual journey.

When we were in Florence, we attended Sunday mass at the Duomo. The Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore, more popularly known as the Duomo, is Florence’s most iconic landmark, with its red-tiled cupola designed by Filippo Brunelleschi. It has a magnificent Gothic exterior made up of pink, white and green marble and an imposing yet graceful bell tower. Began by Sienese architect Arnolfo di Cambio in 1296, it took almost 150 years to be completed.

When we entered the Duomo for mass, I was struck by the sparse, almost spartan interior. It was in stark contrast to the flamboyant grandeur of the cathedral’s facade. Tourists who were not going to attend mass were being stopped from entry.

We sat in the middle pew. Looking around, I saw a sign to the right side of the cathedral for confession. I told my children I would be quick and left them. Alas, the priest turned me away, saying only Italian confessions were allowed. Crestfallen, I returned to the children and we heard mass.

Opposite the octagonal cathedral is the Baptistry of San Giovanni, one of the most ancient churches in Florence. Believed to be a pagan temple dating back to Roman times which was converted into a church, the baptistry is clad in slabs of white Carrara and green Prato marble.

In Verona, while walking along the cobbled streets looking for the house of Juliet and the famous balcony, I saw an interesting building in one of the side streets that looked like a church. I felt a strong urge to enter. It turned out to be the Chiesa di San Tomio, a Colomboni church.

Once my eyes got accustomed to the dark interior of the church, I noticed a light in the confessional box. I quickly entered and asked the kindly old priest who was praying if he spoke Spanish or English. He gave me a radiant smile and said he could speak a little English having been a missionary in Africa. He asked me where I was from, and was delighted to learn that I am a lector at our parish in the Philippines.

Needless to say, I felt truly blessed having gone to confession with such a welcoming and warm priest. As I left, I asked him to pray for my children, my mom, and Andre. He rued that not a lot of young people these days go to confession, and promised to pray for my children. He also advised me to approach the Blessed Sacrament, and ask God to be with me always, as sometimes we become too busy living life we forget to call on Him. When I came out, Niccolo asked if the priest spoke English and I said yes. I was so happy when Niccolo followed suit and entered the confessional box!

On our last day in Verona, we visited the Church of Santa Anastasia. It was a beautiful church, full of religious art, paintings and sculptures. We heard music coming from a small side door. Curious, I entered and the children followed. A mass was going on in the tiny chapel. We joined the mass which was in Italian. There must have been less than 20 people at the mass. While we could not understand what the priest was saying in his homily, he was so engaging that his parishioners were responding to him, almost conversing with him. I was ecstatic that all my children attended mass and had communion.

In Rome, we visited the Pantheon on a Saturday. A pagan temple dedicated to Venus, Mars and all the other gods, it was built between 27 and 25 BC. Destroyed in 80 and 110 AD, it was restored by Emperor Hadrian in 118-125 AD. In 609 AD, the Byzantine Emperor Phocas donated the Pantheon to Pope Bonifacio IV who then converted it to a Roman Catholic Church and named it the Basilica di Santa Maria ad Martyres.

It is an architectural marvel and the most preserved of all the ancient buildings in Rome. Both the diameter and the height of the circular space are 43 meters. The Pantheon is considered a perfect sundial as at midday, the rays of sunlight going through the hole in the dome are aligned with the door.

I walked around the Pantheon, taking pictures of the different niches and chapels. The first chapel in the right was The Annunciation. The second chapel was a tomb monument of the first Italian King Victor Emanuel II. I was invited to sign in their visitor book. The third niche had a statue of St. Anne and the young Virgin Mary, while the third chapel had a painting of the Blessed Virgin with St. Francis and St.John the Baptist.

As I moved along, I noticed an old woman coming out of a door and going to and from the main altar, appearing to be preparing for a mass. I also noted that there were several pews fronting the center altar where people were seated, resting. When she was near, I asked her if by any chance there would be mass. I was overjoyed when she said there would be mass at 5pm if the priest comes. It was 4:30 pm. I told my children that I would hear mass and that they could leave me there and just come back for me after.

Bea and Niccolo decided to hear mass too. A man who appeared to be in charge announced that mass would start and that tourists would have to leave if they were not going to attend mass. Several of the tourists sitting on the pews left, and so we transferred to the front pew.

The old lady then started to distribute mass leaflets which had the readings translated into several languages. The man approached the faithful seated and asked if anyone spoke English. Once again, I felt an urge to stand up and tell him I speak English and that I am a lector. He then asked me to do the second reading as well as the prayers of the faithful. I was floored! What an honor to be able to serve the Lord at mass in the Pantheon! And it was a cardinal that officiated the mass in Italian. The only parts in English were mine. I felt humbled and blessed to be chosen.

After mass, the man approached us once again. I thanked him but he said he was the one who was grateful I had agreed to serve. He then said we have two minutes. I thought he meant we could walk around the Pantheon for two minutes before they closed. We were pleasantly surprised that he meant we could have a two-minute visit to the tiny chapel behind the main altar to see the secret hidden there. We passed by the little door I noticed the old woman come out of.

And there it was: the original and miraculous 7th century icon of the Madonna and Child. The icon that was gifted to the Pope when the Pantheon was converted from a pagan temple to Christianity. Our guide told us that there was a man born blind who was outside the Pantheon. The Pope said mass and prayed for the man, and he was able to see. A cleric was sent to check if it was true. The cleric brought with him a candle from the altar and used that to examine the man’s eyes, declaring that indeed he could now see. News of the miracle spread, and the icon was venerated as miraculous. Subsequently, the Pope announced a feast to celebrate Our Lady of the Candles on February 2, which we celebrate today as the Holy Feast of the Candelaria. We prayed fervently for our family and those we love.

Yesterday morning, Bea researched and learned that there was a Papal audience at St. Peter’s Square every Wednesday at 10am. To get in, however, we needed to be there by 7am. Niccolo volunteered to wake up early and accompany me to the mass. We also needed to get tickets between 3-7pm from the Swiss guards at the Vatican. Bea and Niccolo already had tickets for the Forum yesterday afternoon, and so it was left to Cara to run to the Vatican to get the tickets.

Because I could not walk far, I stayed at the Church of Sta. Anastasia near the Circulo Massimo. I visited the Blessed Sacrament and prayed the rosary there. It was very peaceful. Then, I went out and sat at a park bench writing.

And now, Niccolo and I are seated at St. Peter’s Square waiting for the 10am Papal audience. We arrived early enough to get seats on the sixth row near the center. There is a mass of humanity waiting with us. I hear a babble of languages all around. People from different parts of the world are here today in faith and brotherhood, singing, smiling, clapping. I am so happy!

Dreams do come true!

Sent from my iPhone

Beautiful Florence, oh how I love you!

April 21, Florence. My favorite city in Italy. We arrived at 11:20am by train from Rome, too early for the 3pm check in at the airbnb we rented in San Niccolo. So we decided to hop into a cab with our suitcases and head for the Piazza Della Signoria, thinking Niccolo and I could visit the Uffizi while killing time. Well, we were way off the mark! The line at the Uffizi was serpentine and would take 2-3 hours to get a ticket. Some men approached us selling tickets at 45 Euros each. Scalpers exist even in Florence. We declined and decided to have lunch instead.

Bea scouted the area, and found a restaurant called Osteria Della Porcellino by a side street near the Mercato Nuovo. It was empty, and we felt it would be a good place to while away the time while waiting to check in. Besides, we had to park our suitcases somewhere. Cara was excited to try the Ragu de Chinggale, but it turned out that they had recently changed their menu. They only had seafood ragu, so that’s what Bea ordered. Cara had a fried Brie salad coated with sesame crumbs over a bed of rocket while Niccolo and I decided on Crespelle alla Florentina, which is a heartier version of lasagna with spinach and ricotta.

One thing you need to know about eating in restaurants in Italy is they charge a Pane e Servizio fee per person on top of what you eat, anywhere from 1.50 or 2.00 Euros. For this, they give you a small basket of bread, which in the Osteria’s case seemed to be days old. Another thing is that water is expensive. A bottle of water good for four glasses is 5 Euros. Wine is cheaper. They served the food so fast that we were done by 1 pm, still a long way to go till 3pm.

The waitress kept badgering us to order dessert, but we didn’t want to. Instead, Bea ordered another bottle of water. Once again, the waitress came and asked plaintively if we were going to have dessert. So, Bea and Niccolo ordered coffee. After he drank his coffee, Niccolo and Cara went off to a nearby store. By this time, the waitress was giving us the evil eye, wanting us to leave and vacate the table. Since there were several empty tables, we stayed our ground, and I ordered a macchiato, nursing it until the children came back. It was a test of wills, with the waitress giving us dagger eyes. When they returned at 2pm, we paid the bill and left with our suitcases.

With an hour to spare, we took turns window shopping and watching the suitcases by the market. I had my picture taken next to the wild boar, Florence’s version of the Fountain of Trevi. The tradition is to put a coin in the boar’s mouth, and the coin slides into a locked grate by its feet. If the coin goes in, then you will return to Florence. Bea had fun taking photos, while Niccolo went off to explore the plaza. We then took a cab to San Niccolo.

Our airbnb turned out really nice. It was an old high-ceilinged apartment on the third floor, with two bedrooms, a small living/dining room, a kitchenette, and a bathroom. It had stucco walls, a shiny wooden floor, and exposed wooden beams. Best of all, the beds were comfortable, and they had Internet! Alesso, our host, explained the rules and asked us to pay the Florentine tourist tax of 2.50 Euros per person per night. This is again another hidden cost that tourists need to be aware of when traveling to Italy. The neighborhood was quiet and pretty. After dropping off our bags, we went walking to explore the city.

Near the apartment was Via di San Niccolo, and we asked Niccolo to pose under the street name, as it was his namesake. We walked along the Fiume Arno, a river that traverses Florence, and eventually found our way to Ponte Vecchio, but not before our young man insisted we stop at Covaccini for a pizza. This little pizza shop sported an Astro menu: a different kind of pizza for each astrological sign. The children sat on the bench in front of the shop, while Niccolo ate his pizza.

Ponte Vecchio is one of the most beautiful bridges I’ve seen. Lined on either side by antique jewelry and watch stores, the place seemed festive with so many people walking leisurely. As it was still too early to view the sunset from the bridge, we decided to explore the city first. And I am glad we did, because Cara spied a poster announcing a Klimt exhibit in one of the side streets. We followed the sign and ended up at Santo Stefano Al Ponte, a small church. We bought tickets and entered the church where the exhibit was. It was mind-blowing and totally unexpected!

At the crypt, we experienced the Austrian painter Klimt in virtual reality, wearing headsets that allowed us to enter into the paintings of Klimt, navigating its depth, coming up close to the lovers in The Kiss, exploring the landscape and the peaceful waters of The Tree of LIfe, feeling the heat of the fiery flames, and much more. From the crypt, we moved to the church for the main exhibit.

The exhibit was an immersive experience in Gustav Klimt’s art. Images, lights, colors, music, and sounds enveloped us as we soaked in the beauty of Klimt’s masterpieces. Everywhere we looked, Klimt’s art came alive, on the walls, the ceilings and the floor of the church. Cara and I lay down on the floor and watched entranced, while Bea and Niccolo preferred to watch from the benches. We left speechless and in awe.

I was still bemused and overwhelmed by the amazing experience I just had, that leaving the church, I did not notice that a cobblestone was missing. My right foot buckled and I fell headlong onto the pavement. The children heard my scream and ran back to help me sit up. I was deathly afraid I had broken my foot, but luckily, I could still flex my foot. Because I was bundled up for the cold, I avoided any scrapes. Gingerly, I tried to stand up and could not bear the pain of walking on my right foot.

Niccolo and I took a cab back to the apartment, while the girls went to buy supplies and food for dinner. Ever solicitous, Niccolo put cold compress on my foot and had me lying down with my right foot propped up. I fell asleep exhausted and in pain, and was woken up when the girls arrived with dinner.

Dinner was simply superb, with ragu spaghetti, meatballs with spinach, an orzo and zucchini salad, salmon and artichoke gnocchi, cold cuts and truffle cheese, washed down with La Piuma, a Montepulciano D’Abruzzo red. The only thing missing was dessert.

After dinner, Bea consulted with her doctor friends to find out what to do about my foot. Luckily, one of them is an orthopedic doctor. After a virtual consultation helped along by technology, the doctor said it appeared to be a mild sprain (no broken bones) and I was advised to rest. And that’s what I did all of the next day. I pray that I will be well enough to explore this city tomorrow.

Chapter One: California Dreamin’

October 11, 2016

I’ve only been to the US four times: the first was to attend a publishing conference in New York, the second a trip with my late husband Mike to Boston to meet with the Harvard Publishing Group, the third a trip to visit our relatives in Texas and Washington, and the last, five years ago, to attend my sister’s wedding.  This time around was different.  I was excited yet apprehensive.

In three short weeks, we would do the rounds of Los Angeles and Florida to meet Andrè’s US-based siblings and his mom, and then go to Seattle and San Francisco to meet my side of the family: two brothers and a sister.

thumb_img_0162_1024
On the flight to LAX

I realized getting out of the LAX airport that LA is cold. Brrrr! Andrè had told me to pack light clothes for LA and Miami as it was just as hot as Manila. We didn’t account for a cold front the week we arrived in LA. It was great that Gerry Gonzalez, Maribel’s husband was there to pick us up.

Our first meal on US soil was burgers at The Habit. It was a toss up between In and Out but The Habit won. There was some discussion about which burger was better: that of The Habit or I&O. The Habit got most of the votes. The burger was delicious, but I made a mental note to try out I&O myself. At Maribel’s home I slept like a babe that night, tired out from the long flight from Manila.

October 12, 2016

The next morning, I prepared breakfast of bagel, ham, cheese and eggs. Gerry had left earlier for work. Maribel helped me pack our pasalubongs (gifts) for family in Florida, Seattle and San Francisco. When the boxes were done, Maribel drove us to Costco where I had my first experience of shopping. It was overwhelming for someone not used to shopping. I immediately settled on a sweater to keep me warm. I also found out that one could get full nibbling on free samples at Costco.

img_0216
Pumpkins galore

Everywhere we went, pumpkins were on display.  They came in varied sizes, color and shapes, though they were mostly orange.  We couldn’t help but have our photos taken with the pumpkins.

After a late lunch at Akropolis with gyros, Mediterranean salad and a baklava, we passed by the Persian Market at Mission Ranch.   Like a little child in a candy shop, I was blown away by the lushness of fresh vegetables and fruits on display, some of which I’m not familiar with, the endless variety of spices and mouthwatering sauces, and couldn’t help myself but pick up a few items.  In my mind, I was already dreaming of what I would cook with them.  Tired from shopping, we went home to a delicious lentils and boeuf bourguignon dinner that Maribel had prepared before she left for the Philippines.

October 13, 2016

Shopping is second nature to the Kahns, and this was my baptism of fire. Andrè gave me tips on how to shop, and where to look. “Head straight to the Clearance corner first,” he said. “That’s were you’ll find the best buys. Check the price tags and look for the coloured ones as they give you a further discount from the printed price. If unsure, ask!” That night, he sent me to sit with Maribel to learn about coupons and sales.

img_0176
At Target

We visited Target where Andrè loaded up on shirts, then Trader Joe’s and finally, Tuesday Morning, where I broke the ice (or should I say melted completely and gave in to a buying spree) and loaded up on bed linen, foot rugs, and towels. The cashier called out that they were closing in 10 minutes. We were the only ones in the store and had only gone through two rows, yet I already had two overflowing shopping carts. Maribel and Andrè were chuckling as I was paying at the counter. Anytime now, they said, I will be hit by “shopper’s remorse.” Andrè bought some dark chocolate bars so I would feel better.  He knows very well that chocolates lift my spirits anytime. I figured that since I hardly ever shop in Manila because of my work schedule that I shouldn’t feel guilty about shopping for things we need. That night, I filled up one balikbayan box.

In between shopping sprees, we had lunch at Cinnamon Production where I had half a delicious corned beef sandwich and piping hot pumpkin squash soup. We looked longingly at the dessert counter, and asked for key lime pie, but they had none on the menu. Instead, we settled on an apple pie to bring home.

Andrè’s brother Mario and his wife Marivic happened to be in San Diego, and they decided to swing by Maribel’s house to meet us and have dinner. Gerry popped into the oven the Chicken Marsala that Maribel had prepared, while I cooked the masa for croquetas de jamon and croquetas de boeuf bourguignon. For dessert, we opened a Chocnut from Manila. Because Mario and Marivic had a long drive ahead, they left early.

A shy person, Maribel reminded me not to post any photos of her on Facebook, and I promised I wouldn’t without her permission. Hence, I ended up not taking any photos that night.  A pity though as Maribel is such a beautiful person, her  inner warmth and kindness shining through, the kind whose irrepressible laughter brings sunshine to the room.

October 14, 2016

What a day this turned out to be!  In the morning, I did the laundry after Gerry, who was working from home that day, taught me how to use the washing machine and dryer.   In between wash loads, I formed the masa into croquetas ready for dinner that night.

img_0243
Friends and family for dinner: Tessie, Andre, me, Gigi, Mari and Gerry

The day before, Andrè had invited Tessie and her husband Toño, his classmate Mari Crespo and his girlfriend Gigi Gomez, to join us and Maribel and Gerry for dinner. I offered to make a paella and croquetas.

Gerry dropped us off at Irvine Spectrum to shop.  There, Andrè finally found the Sketchers shoe he had been searching for. We passed by the Apple store to check if we could get an iPhone 7 Plus but there was none on stock that we could get with an open line, or SIM-free as they called it here.

We had a funny yet exasperating experience at a Beauty Shop at Irvine. We were walking when a young man handed Andrè an envelope, which he inadvertently accepted. It was one of those con jobs where they try to sell you beauty products to supposedly remove your eye bags. I tried pulling Andrè away but he went into the shop, so I had to follow him. The salesman said he would put a lotion on my eyebags that would make them disappear. I said only if you put them on both eyebags and on Andrè too. He agreed and so we sat down.

The salesman put the magic lotion on my right eye, and I immediately asked him to put it on the other as well. He said wait, so we could see the difference it makes. He then put it on Andrè’s left eyebag as he tried convincing us to buy this and that product. Of course, the product worked, but the price was steep: $399 for a small stick of lotion that he said would last a year, and whose effect will last two more years. He then tried to sell us two sticks, one for each one of us, but we didn’t bite.

In the meantime, I asked him to put in on my other eye. He kept stalling, negotiating better offers, such as $399 per stick plus a free hand lotion. The man kept chatting, dialing up his sales talk, even resorting to the old trick of “if we divide $399 by 52 weeks, we’d end up paying only $11 per week to remove our eye bags for a year.” OMG, I thought, even his math was wrong. It should be little more than $7.60 a week, I computed mentally. Again, I demanded that he put the lotion on the other eye as promised. He did after much nagging, but not enough so that the other eye was still puffy. I signaled to Andrè, let’s leave.

50cf3779-dfd5-40e4-b34e-fd5a3c93c0e5
Paella and croquetas dinner at the Gonzalezes.

The man followed us out of the shop making his final offer in a stage whisper, “I will give you my family price of only $250 per stick. Please buy.” No way, Jose. After telling him we would think about it over lunch, the man finally gave up and went back to the store. We all had a good chuckle over dinner that night when we recounted to our guests how Andrè and I escaped without giving in, but were each left with a hint of an eyebag. That night, Tessie told us that the same thing had happened to her. We all had a good laugh about it.

October 15, 2016

14980762_10209769556529925_6684677327247366083_n
Lunch at the Rusty Pelican with Mike and Liz Hulley and Gerry and Maribel Gonzalez

The next day, Gerry drove Andrè, me and Maribel to Newport Beach where we had lunch at The Rusty Pelican, at the invitation of newly-weds Liz and Mike Hulley. Liz is Gerry and Maribel’s lovely daughter. It was a breathtakingly beautiful drive along the coast, and we passed millionaires’ homes along the way. The seafood lunch at The Rusty Penguin was absolutely fresh and delicious. We had calamari, shrimp cocktail and freshly-baked buttered crunchy parmesan-coated baguettes for appetizers. Andrè ordered the lobster salad, while I had grilled salmon with a lobster sauce. I even gave in and had a chilled Moet Chandon with my salmon. It was heavenly!

img_0225 img_0219

We spent the rest of the afternoon resting at home and getting ready for the flight to Miami that night.  Tomorrow, I meet Andrè’s mom, and the butterflies in my stomach are having a field day.

Sangria and Pintxos on a Friday night

The Internet and Mobile Marketing Association of the Philippines (IMMAP) Summit’s a wrap and to celebrate, we hied off to Gallery Vask for their Semana Grande Pintxos night, and to meet up with Cara who works as Research and Development Lead for Chele Gonzalez. And what a night it was!

Unless you know what to look for, it’s easy to miss Gallery Vask. Hidden away on the fifth floor of Clipp Center on 11th Avenue corner 39th Street, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig, there are no signs. Walking into the lobby of the building, you see the statue of a tall graceful black horse, and you begin to wonder what surprises are in store for you.

Arriving at Gallery Vask, who else do we see but the handsome Chef Chele Gonzalez, all rested from his Spanish sojourn and still blushing as he recounted the happy time he had with his beloved Teri. His tip for relaxing: leave your mobile phone behind.

IMG_2215

Soon, we are perched on high seats at the long glass table, and look around the room, noting the whimsical Micky Mouse cutouts that adorn the ceiling. Luckily we arrived early enough to get seats as the room soon started to fill up.

Each weekend for the entire month of September, Gallery Vasks holds its Semana Grande Pintxos Nights, offering unlimited sangria with their pintxos. I opted for the white sangria (well actually it was a bright yellow orange) which was refreshingly light and sumptuously delicious. My companions chose the traditional red sangria, delightful as well, but I preferred to be different tonight.

Red or white sangria?Looking at the wide variety of bite-sized pintxos on display, I wondered which to try out first. Like little works of art, they seemed to call out playfully, each delectable piece competing with the other: ‘try me first.’ The crab and grilled eggplant won the first round.

Every single bite was delicious, from the jamon parmesan mousse to the sous vide tuna with caramelized onion, patata tortilla, crab, roast beef with roasted piquillo pepper, grilled eggplant, boquerones (here we call them tawilis) and chorizo with caramelized onion.

12002640_10206432725111225_8831605573985302646_oWe were getting full from the pintxos and a bit light-headed from the sangria when the heavy weight Vask specialties started arriving. The round croquetas de pollo were as creamy as my mom makes it. The Secreto Iberico fillet with porcina espuma and chimichurri was tender to the bite. And the fresh oysters with Basque country caviar and pomelo foam, well, they were divine! I loved the seared scallops and black ink risotto made from Highland tinaoan rice with crispy Parmesan rounds.

Last December, Chef Chele and Vicky Garcia, whom I had met at the Social Enterprise Forum we had organized, invited me to go on a roadtrip to the Sagadas in search of the perfect rice for paellas. I couldn’t go because of yearend events we were organizing, but I keep kicking myself for passing up such a unique and exciting adventure. It must have been loads of fun. Oh well, another drop in the bucket list.

11708061_10206432799873094_1602893964193356754_oNot to be outdone was the hearty fabada, comfort food at its best. For postre we had torrija and pastel caliente de chocolate valrhona. Oh, I was in seventh heaven! Take it from me, this is one place you can keep coming back to, and be happy you did. Chef Chele never fails to delight his guests.

Skipping Holy Week

April 2, 3015. Here we are at NAIA 2, waiting at Centennial Airport. We woke up at 2am to make it in time for our 5am PAL flight to Cebu. Checking in was a breeze, a delightful surprise since we thought there would be a mad rush at the airport because of the long weekend.

It’s Holy Thursday. For the past 13 years, I’ve spent the Holy Week in Manila, serving as a lector in our parish. This time around, however, my daughters decided that we should all go on a fam trip to Moalboal. So here we are, Dada (my mom), Bea, Cara, Niccolo and me, off to a new adventure. My thoughts wander over to the church activities I would miss.

The Paschal Triduum, or the three days from Thursday morning to just before Easter Sunday is the busiest time for servant leaders. All the church bells are silenced, votive candles extinguished, and images of saints and the crucifix are removed or hidden behind violet cloth. The Paschal Triduum begins with Chrism Mass early Thursday morning when the Holy Oils are blessed and all the priests of the diocese renew their vow. After Chrism mass, it is customary for parishioners to have breakfast with their parish priest to show their gratitude and love for him. Later that day, we would celebrate the Mass of the Last Supper where priests go down on their knees to wash the feet of parishioners. This commemorates Christ’s actions on the night before he died, when he washed the feet of his 12 apostles, in so doing teaching them humility and servant leadership.

When I was a little girl attending mass at San Sebastian, I watched the Spanish parish priest wash the feet of 12 fellow priests, and wondered why. Are their feet dirty? Later, as the church became more inclusive and priests scarcer, common parishioners took on the role of the apostles. When we first moved to Southbay, our family was chosen as one of those to be washed. It took some convincing for Mike to agree, but Niccolo was excited to have his feet washed.

After the Mass of the Last Supper, we would do the Bisita Iglesia, a Catholic tradition of visiting seven churches and praying the Stations of the Cross, ending with spending time at the Altar of Repose to keep the Lord company in His time of agony. We always enjoyed this time, choosing which seven churches to go to and comparing the different altars of repose they put up.

At dawn on Friday, we would have the Community Way of the Cross, walking through the different Basic Ecclesial Communities (BECs) of the Ascension of Our Lord Parish, from Villonco to Southbay to Waterfun, Estrada 1 & 2, Aratiles, Mangga, Silangan, then Goodwill. When we first did this about ten years ago, I was a bit worried having to walk and pray in the developing communities, then genuflecting on the dirty streets, beside dogs and chickens. But this also opened my eyes to the circumstances of how other people lived, and I became more thankful of our many blessings, and also more open and understanding of the people around me.

At 3pm, we would have the Veneration of the Cross, the symbol of Christ’s suffering and love for us. We used to call this rite the Seven Last Words. This is a solemn rite where we relive the last hours of Christ’s passion and death on the cross. When the priest enters the church with the cross, stops three times and unveils it partially, he sings a biblical phrase. Fr. Didoy Molina, our beloved parish priest then, was absent when God gave the gift of beautiful voices, so when he attempted to sing, we all cracked up and started giggling.

There is no more consecration of the bread and wine at the mass that follows, but we would partake of communion with hosts blessed the night before during the Last Supper rites. We would then go home, but some of us would stay and keep the image of the Cristo Muerto company.

Black Friday, as we call the day that Christ died, is supposed to be a day of fasting, quiet and reflection on this passion and death. I still recall a time, I must have been three or four years old then, when Pepito and I were playing rowdily by the avocado tree in the backyard. Our mom came out and roundly spanked and scolded us to keep quiet. “Don’t you know that Jesus Christ is dead?,” she screamed at us in Spanish. We kept quiet, wondering who this Jesus Christ was and why he died. To a young child, the concept of death is difficult to grasp, more so when it is someone we don’t know.

Black Saturday is still supposed to be hush hush but come night, we would have a grand celebration as we celebrate Easter, or the resurrection of Jesus Christ. In our parish, we would congregate in the pitch black court outside the church.  The bonfire is lighted and the priest would bless and light the Paschal Candle, saying “You are the alpha and the omega.” These words never fail to touch me, and bring home the message that God is our all in all, the beginning and the end, our Creator, the Almighty to whom we owe everything. And once again, I would be humbled as I am reminded of my nothingness and yet the grandness that God loves me and holds me in the palm of His hand.

The Easter Vigil mass is long and dramatic. It begins with us entering the dark church following the priest holding up the lighted candle. We listen to several readings followed by Psalms which are sung. The readings begin with Genesis, the story of creation, to when Abraham willingly follows the Lord’s command to sacrifice his only son Isaac to God.  He is about to kill his son when he is stopped by an angel and told that God has blessed him for showing his faithfulness to the Lord. God then makes His solemn promise to bless Abraham with descendants more numerous than the stars of the sky or the sands along the beach, descendants who will be a blessing to all nations. The readings proceed to Exodus, or the triumphant flight from Egypt when the Israelites under the leadership of Moses and the guidance and protection of God cross the Red Sea and all of the pursuing Pharaoh’s chariots and charioteers are drowned.

I am usually assigned to read one of these first readings as they are the longest and most dramatic. But it is the second one I love the most.   I put myself in Abraham’s shoes, and wonder if I would be as obedient as him. Imagine being told to kill your only son, the beloved son of your old age, and to offer him as a sacrifice to God. Give up Bea, or Cara or Niccolo? Arghhh! And yet, this is exactly what God did: send His only son, Jesus Christ to live and die on the cross to save us from our sins.

The following readings from Isaiah, Baruch and Ezekiel chronicle God’s faithfullness over the centuries to His covenant to take care of His people. We then have the Epistle and the readings from the Gospel. I love it when we sing the Gloria with all of the lights turned on, as we wave our white flags and ring our bells. Oh, what a glorious time it is as we rejoice that the Lord has risen!

The next day we would have the Easter Egg Hunt in our village. When my children were young, they would join the other children in the village and see who could collect the most eggs, especially the prized Gold and Silver eggs.  Similarly, when we were young, my siblings and I would also go Easter Egg hunting in our yard. What fond memories Easter brings!

Oh, I will miss all of these rituals this Holy Week, but then I will be with my children and my mom. It is high time we have some family bonding. The children are grown up and soon they would have their own families. I hope and pray that we would still be able to celebrate Easter together in the years to come.