When I first met Cathy, she was dark, skinny and had a haunted air around her. It was the 27th of April 2012. I was in dire need of a maid, and so was my mom, and she was referred by the helper of a neighbor. Interviewing her, I learned that she had run away from her husband and come to Manila to look for a job. She said her husband’s family had a history of mental illness, and he had started to beat her up. Her husband’s family was well-to-do, she said, and they looked down on her as she came from humble beginnings.
Her father had left them when she was young and had taken up with someone else. Later when he was ill, he returned to their family so that they could take care of him. She told me he used to be quite violent when drunk and would beat up her mother. This scarred her for life. Her mom, on the other hand, is very religious and serves the church. Her sole source of income came from donations from people who would ask her to pray for their dead. Cathy could not understand why her mother took her father back after abandoning them, and even nursed him until he died.
The eldest in her family, Cathy graduated with top honors in high school, while working as househelp for relatives. She was studying to be a teacher when she fell madly in love with the man she would eventually marry. They eloped and she got pregnant. Living with him, however, soon became a nightmare, as relations with her in-laws was strained, and her husband began exhibiting disturbing tendencies. She suffered silently until she got beaten up in front of her daughters. She could not bear inflicting the same hurt on her daughters that she had suffered as a child, and she planned her escape.
Cathy left her daughters with her mom for safekeeping and got on a bus to Manila, showing up at our home the day after she arrived in Manila. We agreed that if she stayed a year working for us that I would buy her a ticket home so she could visit her children.
Cathy had two daughters, a year apart. The eldest was barely two when she left them. She missed them terribly, and transferred her motherly love to Niccolo. At first, she was worried about communicating as Mike and Niccolo spoke only English. Nosebleed, she would say. But later, she was able to adjust quickly, and soon became the interpreter of the other househelp.
Cathy had an amazing zest for life, and was always upbeat. She loved to learn new things, and would watch me as I cooked, asking questions as to how things were done. I encouraged her to read my cookbooks, and essentially gave her free reign in the kitchen to experiment various recipes. Sometimes, it was hit and miss, but she soon mastered the art of pasta. She learned my recipes by heart and could whip up any dish I asked her to make. She specially enjoyed helping me prepare Christmas ham.
Long before the Kasambahay Law came in, I enrolled her in SSS, Pag-ibig and HDMF. Each Christmas and New Year, it was our family’s practice to celebrate Noche Buena together with our househelp around the dinner table. We would invite their close family members to join us. In Cathy’s case, it was Jay-R, her younger brother, who would come.
Hardworking and diligent, Cathy soon became indispensable to our household. She endeared herself to everyone, including my mom. They would spend hours chit-chatting about everything under the sun. Dada would teach her how to take care of the house and of us and give her advice on life. Cathy reciprocated by taking care of Dada whenever she would visit us, and making sure Dada took her medicine properly. When Dada was in Quiapo, Cathy would call to check on her. They were phone pals. Niccolo too was dependent on her for almost everything, from his clothes to his food. Even Bugsy transferred his allegiance to her, as she was the one who fed him, bathed him and took him for walks.
When Mike took ill with cancer in October 2012, Cathy helped me take care of Mike, especially when he stopped going to work and I had to do double time at the office. She and I would take shifts at the hospital when he would have chemo, blood transfusions or stem cell injections. She prepared his meals while I was at work and would cajole him to eat. When Mike died, Cathy was there too, crying with the family. And she was a tower of strength during that dark period after Mike died, making sure I ate, and keeping me company. When I hurt my back and was in terrible pain, Cathy would help me get up from bed and put on my back brace.
When Malie, my other maid left, Cathy offered to be the sole kasambahay, saying she preferred to be alone. Anyway, she argued that she only had Niccolo and me to take care of since Bea was away in the US and Cara was in Boracay. I agreed and gave her a hefty raise. She ran the house well, and gained our full trust and confidence. We loved her, and we believe she loved us too.
Knowing how intelligent she was, I asked Cathy if she wanted to serve in our parish after Mike died. She accepted eagerly but was worried how she would be accepted by the village. I took her under my wing and taught her how to become a lector. We would practice her delivery of the English readings before the mass. At home, we would pray the rosary and I would let her lead. Soon, she gained enough confidence and was at ease in front of the congregation. She was warmly welcomed by our lector family as an equal, and was even chosen to head the secretariat for the last Parish Renewal Experience (PREX). The kasambahays in the village looked up to her, and wanted to emulate her. She was their star, the most popular househelp of the village.
When Yolanda hit Leyte, Cathy was beside herself with worry. Her family lived in Carigara, near Tacloban. There was no news of her family as communication lines were down. We searched on the Internet and TV for news of her children and posted their photos on the portal for survivors. A week later, Jay-R said he could not stand it anymore and would go home and look for them himself. We sent him off with money and supplies. For days, Cathy worked non-stop to get over the fear of not knowing what happened her family. We were overjoyed when Jay-R texted to say he had found them unharmed, other than the house which had lost its roof and kitchen. We sent funds to help them rebuild, and offered for them to come to Manila and stay with us. But Cathy’s mom refused to leave as there were so many dead who had to be prayed for.
Cathy’s children were her pride and joy. Her eldest was studious and got good grades, but it was her spunky and strong-willed youngest who kept Cathy in stitches. The first time Cathy went home, she felt so bad because her children did not recognize her. By the time she was going to return to Manila, the eldest had started calling her mama. I remember the second time she went home, she had huge dolls for her daughters. Cathy always timed her home visits to make sure she was there when her daughter would receive her medals.
When the Kasambahay Law came into being, Cathy began to take leaves more often and not come home for the night. There was nothing I could do as this was the law, but I cautioned her to be careful and to keep safe. I noticed that she started putting on make-up and nail polish. I chalked this up to her youth.
When she came back from her last trip to the province, Cathy was often sick. Worried, we sent her for a check-up but she said she was OK. We noticed that she started slacking off as the house was no longer as spic and span as it was before, and clothes would not get washed or ironed right away. We hired someone to come in and help her.
When I got home late from work one night in June, I was surprised to see the house completely dark. I never brought my keys with me as Cathy was always there to open the gate and greet me. Worried that something had happened to her, I called the guardhouse. The security officer said Cathy had left in the morning and not returned. I waited until Bea got home with her keys so we could enter the house. We were surprised to find all her clothes missing. I felt stabbed in the heart. How could Cathy do this to me? I sent a message to Jay-R, asking if he knew why she left.
Later we discovered the letter she had left us. She asked for our forgiveness and said she had to leave because she was pregnant and didn’t know what to do. I was so angry and disappointed! She could have told us, and we would have been the first to help her. We learned that she had planned her escape, sending sealed boxes in the car whenever my mother would go home to her house in Manila. I spoke to Manang, my mom’s maid who was Cathy’s townmate, and she admitted that Cathy had sent boxes of her things to be sent to the province and that they had all been collected by another of their friends. What a cowardly thing to do!
I asked my caretaker in the farm to come with his wife and help us out while we searched for a new maid. His wife learned from the village kasambahays that Cathy had said she was not being paid well and that’s why she left. This incensed my caretaker’s wife, as she knew how well we treat our helpers. I decided to cut clean and removed her from my contact list.
Last Saturday, when I visited my mom, Manang told me that Cathy was very sick. She started to cry, but since Manang was prone to drama, I told her to stop crying and not to tell me anything about Cathy as she had made her decision to leave us. Sunday night, an FB message popped up from Jay-R. Cathy was dead. He said she had died of typhoid fever in their province, her unborn child with her. I felt stricken to the core.
Jay-R told me that she had been ill for weeks, going in and out of the hospital, and since he could not take care of her as he worked, she decided to go home to the province and get well there. It was not to be. She became gravely ill in Carigara. He told me too that while she was delirious, she kept on saying she loved me and Niccolo and was sorry she had hurt us.
Reflecting on what happened, I guess Cathy did not know how to face the community when she learned she was pregnant, especially as she was a lector. We were always told to give a good example. How could she explain that she was pregnant when everyone knew she was separated from her husband? It is sad, but Cathy had a pattern of failling in love, and then running away when the situation became difficult.
Our last conversation before she ran away was about second chances. She had always wanted an annulment from her husband so that she could begin life afresh. She wanted a second chance at love, just as I had with Mike. I told her to start writing down her life story as this would be needed, and promised to help her get that annulment. How, I wish I could have helped her!
I write this now to honor Cathy. Yes, she had hurt us deeply, but what I choose to remember is the love we had shared. I trust that she is now in heaven, where there is no pain and only the everlasting joy of being with our Lord. Thank you, Cathy!
